


Lost and Found

by TJ_Dragonblade



Series: Lost and Found [1]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M, My old writing makes me cringe, sap, so much sap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2002-12-15
Updated: 2003-01-26
Packaged: 2018-12-26 11:14:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12057825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TJ_Dragonblade/pseuds/TJ_Dragonblade
Summary: July AC201, roughly four years after the Preventer 5 Manga & four and a half years after Endless Waltz.  After parting badly four years ago, Duo runs into Wufei again while out traveling the world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a project I undertook last December; I'm going against force of habit and posting chapter one before the story is complete. Why? Well, 'cause I've been at it for 'bout a year now; I'm eager to share and I'm hoping that it'll help push me to finish the fic. Why are they in Phoenix? Eh, I dunno--guess I was feeling homesick.
> 
> Inspired by four lines from 'Mary Jane's Last Dance' by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers. Lyrics appear at the beginning of chapters I & II.  
> =====  
> Started: 12/20/01  
> Drafted: 11/12/03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //I don't know, but I've been told  
>  You never slow down, you never grow old//

Duo Maxwell sighed in acute relief as the sun finally sank below the western horizon. Whatever had possessed him to visit this place in the dead of summer, he didn't know. Phoenix was a nice enough city, but the heat was something else entirely. Yet here he was anyway, and for what? 'Cause he'd gotten sick & tired of his mundane life. 

It had started about four years ago, a couple months after he'd joined his former teammates as a Preventer to retake the Sank Kingdom palace. With that skirmish resolved, Heero and Trowa had stayed on as Preventers while he'd gone back to the salvage yard and Hilde, his business partner for all intents and purposes. But he'd grown steadily more restless as the years passed; a few months ago, he'd finally gotten too restless to stay. He was young, after all; and life seemed to be passing him by all too swiftly. His childhood had been shot to hell long ago; he'd fought in and survived a year-long war and found peace only to have it briefly taken again. In the years since that conflict had ended, growing old had become a much more probable possibility than it ever had been before; he was beginning to realize that there were things he wanted to do before he actually became a senior citizen.

So Hilde, who had recently come into a rather sizable inheritance, had bought out his half of the business quite generously and sent him off to chase his dreams. He'd decided to begin by traveling the world, seeing everything Earth had to offer. Being of American descent, he'd started in the land of his ancestry, beginning on the east coast and working his way west.

Which is how he came to be standing on a street corner in Phoenix, marveling at the fact that even though it was dusk, the temperature was still at least a hundred and ten.

Removing his sunglasses, Duo wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand and looked around him, searching. Someplace to get a cold beer, that's what he needed. Someplace with air conditioning. Evening or not, it still felt like a furnace out here, especially in the middle of downtown where there was plenty of concrete and metal to reflect the heat. It didn't seem to phase the few passers-by he saw; but he figured they were more accustomed to such temperatures than he was.

Good thing he'd slathered on plenty of sunblock before he left the hotel or he'd be a nice shade of shiny red right now instead of his usual creamy white. And that would be painful.

Damn, but this place truly was hotter than hell.

Beer. He was after a beer.

Looking across the street in hopes of spotting a pub, Duo was surprised to see a familiar insignia on a small office building.

"A Preventers branch office," he mused aloud. "I wonder..."

On a whim, he crossed the street and stepped through the front doors. The evening receptionist glanced up and flashed him a smile. "May I help you?" she asked politely.

"Could you tell me if you've got an agent named Heero Yuy workin' here?" It was a slim chance, he knew. He hadn't been in contact with anyone since he'd begun traveling; but both Heero and Trowa had previously mentioned upcoming transfers out of HQ though they hadn't known where they were going.

But it'd be nice to see his old friends again; there was no harm in asking.

"Yuy? Like the famous pacifist?"

Duo nodded. "Uh huh."

The girl frowned slightly and brought up what Duo assumed was a personnel roster on her monitor. "No; I'm sorry, sir, no Heero Yuy."

He hadn't thought so. "How 'bout Trowa Barton?"

The girl checked her screen again. "No; no Barton, either. If you needed to see someone, I could set you up with one of our available agents...?" Her eyebrows and her voice lifted at the end of her statement, turning it into a question.

Duo shook his head, offering up his own smile. "Naah. Thanks anyway; I was just lookin' for a couple of old friends. Goodnight."

He turned and stepped back into the oven outside, letting the double doors close behind him, and started walking down the street again.

"Old friends, huh?" he said quietly, talking to himself. "So why didn't you ask her 'bout 'Fei?"

Duo's smile turned softly bitter.

For one thing, Wufei was no more likely to be here than Heero or Trowa. He was probably running a branch office out in the colonies by now. And Duo wasn't really sure Wufei would welcome a visit from him anyway. The last time they'd met had left him with the distinct impression that the Chinese boy considered him to be lazy and unmotivated in addition to being a general pain in the ass. Which hurt. A lot.

All the more so because at that point, Duo had finally come to realize that the sun did indeed rise and set on Wufei. Thank god he hadn't told the boy; it would have been just one more thing to earn him Wufei's disdain. And there he'd thought they'd been developing a very pleasant friendship. 

Duo didn't see how they ever could have worked out as a couple given how Wufei seemed to feel about him. But he wished that he had been given the chance to change the other's mind. It hurt to love with no hope of return. The steady passing of time had muted the immediacy of his feelings, but they persisted nonetheless. Somehow, Duo knew, they would never truly go away. Even after four years, hardly a day went by that thoughts of Wufei--however fleeting or lingering they might be--did not cross his mind. He did a lot of wondering--where was Wufei now, and what was he doing? Did Wufei ever think about him? ("Ha--not likely!" his inner voice would interject) What might he have done, *should* he have done, to earn the other's admiration and respect instead of his dislike?

He scowled and kicked at a loose pebble on the sidewalk, remembering for the billionth time what Wufei had said back then. The conversation was branded on his memory, each word a tiny little scar in his psyche.

~"You should have joined the Preventers, Duo. It's the best place for people like us."

~"Mebbe you're right, Wu; but right now I'm damn tired of this whole peacekeeping gig. I just wanna do something *normal* for awhile."

~"So you plan to spend the rest of your life blissfully buried in scrap metal and junk on a backwater colony at L2?" The rich voice was ripe with disapproval.

~"I dunno. Maybe. It's working so far, and Hilde sure does like it." Duo tried to keep the defense in his tone under control.

~"And I suppose that girl's happiness should dictate yours? That you should be willing to settle for whatever pleases her?" Wufei snorted and shook his head. "What a waste, Maxwell. I thought you had more sense than that."~

He hadn't spoken to Wufei since.

Four years later, the words still stung. Particularly since they'd come from Wufei. Duo sighed and looked up, finally spotting a bar on the corner up ahead. "Sorry, 'Fei, that was such a disappointment to ya," he said softly aloud. "You'd probably still think I'm wastin' my life, but at least I'm doin' what I wanna do. I hope you can say the same, wherever you are." Rounding the corner, he pulled open the door and stepped into the blessedly sweet coolness of the pub.

God, did that ever feel good.

He made his way through the crush of people at one end of the bar and stepped up to the counter. Ordering his drink, he scanned the crowded room for a place to sit. There--an empty seat a bit further down, next to a man in a black ponytail and Preventers jacket...

Duo did a double-take.

Christ, but that guy looked almost like 'Fei at glance. Musta just been the hair and the uniform; Duo knew he'd never find Wufei in a *bar*, of all places. Besides, like he'd figured earlier, Wu was probably out in the colonies somewhere. ~Get a grip, Duo,~ he told himself firmly as he paid the bartender and downed most of the beer in one gulp. ~You've gotta get over that boy. You're startin' to see him everywhere you go. You'll ever find happiness with anyone else if you can't let go of what never was, what never would have been.~ He slid into the empty seat, frowning, moody, and did his best to ignore the look-alike next to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //I'm tired of screwin' up, tired of goin' down  
> Tired of myself, tired of this town//

Chang Wufei sighed heavily as he stared at his drink, untouched in front of him. The ice was slowly melting, forming a thin film of water that floated atop the alcohol, separate and distinct; yet one little stir of the straw and it was gone, swallowed up by the greater mass below it.

That was how he felt, sometimes--precariously balanced over the cesspool that his life had become, dangerously close to drowning in it at any given moment.

Gods, this was not how he'd wanted things to turn out.

He'd joined the Preventers ages ago with such high hopes and noble intentions. And somehow he'd screwed it up, the same way he screwed up everything else in his life.

Things had gone alright in the beginning, when there were still frequent though minor threats to the peace. But those threats had become fewer and fewer; and then the Preventers' general policy had changed. Public image had become top priority now that peace seemed secure. Wufei disagreed with the change but did his best to comply, with no luck. Reprimand followed reprimand, accompanied by transfer after transfer and even a demotion until he'd finally ended up here--the Preventers branch office in Phoenix, where he guessed they figured he couldn't do much damage. He supposed the only reason they hadn't terminated him completely was because they perceived him as some sort of war hero in the first place.

Or perhaps Sally Po simply wouldn't let them, still doing her best to 'heal his heart', as she'd once put it.

He was such a failure, exiled like this to a low-key office halfway around the world from HQ.

Really, though, the history of his failures and mistakes had started long before now.

He had mocked his wife, belittled her and ridiculed her for beliefs which he had then fought to uphold. He had scoffed at her ideals, let her die for them when *he* should have been the one fighting.

He had let guilt fueled by grief convince him that he must take up her fight.

He had fought openly and arrogantly once he arrived on Earth, not caring that the enemy gained all manner of tactical knowledge from his carelessness.

He had arrived at New Edwards too late to stop Yuy from killing the Alliance pacifists.

He had failed to defeat Treize when given the golden opportunity; then run and hidden like a coward in former China, letting the war continue around him. He'd let too many of Sally's guerrilla rebels die while he was busy wallowing in self-pity and imagined weaknesses.

He had let little Quatre Winner self detonate at the base in Singapore; as a result, the Arabian had gone into space injured and unconscious, had been taken home, had seen his father die horribly, and had subsequently gone crazy. He had then built Wing Zero and gone on a psychotic binge, destroying colonies and very nearly killing Barton as well. Wufei knew it was a bit of a stretch to place the blame for those events entirely on his own shoulders; but he couldn't shake the certainty that none of it would have happened that way if *he'd* been the one to stay behind in Singapore.

Then after his incarceration on the moon, instead of staying with Maxwell and his girlfriend to finish upgrading his Nataku, he'd gone back to his clan. If he'd only remained at that little junkyard shop, then OZ wouldn't have tracked him back home and the colony wouldn't have destroyed themselves.

He'd gone on a vengeful rampage, indiscriminately killing anyone he found doing battle in space and inadvertently lending credibility to his enemies' anti-colony sentiments. He'd refused to join Zechs when offered the chance; if he had, perhaps he could have prevented the Lightning Count from going over to White Fang.

He'd declined to cooperate with Noin in her quest to gather all the Gundam pilots, still certain that he was better off alone; when Sally finally dragged him into it weeks later--after finding him on the verge of death, no less, defeated once more, Nataku heavily damaged--Zero had shown him that it was where he should have been this entire time.

He'd been disgusted with himself and his uselessness when he set out to duel once more with Treize, intent on dying honorably this time. But he couldn't even commit a proper suicide, inadvertently killing Treize as he'd intended and failed to do the first time around, that irony compounded by learning that the General was far more than the ruthless warlord Wufei had always thought him to be.

Confused and overwhelmed, Wufei had rebuffed overtures of friendship from the other pilots, finally defeating even Maxwell's cheerful and relentlessly persistent efforts. He'd kept his own company, ignoring the vision shown him by Zero, bitterly watching a world given peace blithely take it for granted and forget or ignore those who had sacrificed and fought to make it possible. Nothing had changed, he saw; no one seemed to have learned anything. And there wasn't a thing he could do about it.

Fed up at last with own inadequacy, he had joined the forming ranks of Mariemaia's army under Dekim Barton and quickly worked his way to the top. He took it upon himself to test the world and determine all on his own if they truly deserved peace, even when the position he'd taken had pitted him against his former comrades.

That in itself should have made him realize how foolishly he was acting.

But no, he was Chang Wufei, last of the Dragon clan, too proud and stubborn yet to acknowledge the error of his judgments. He had fought on, prolonging the conflict, until at last Yuy's words had gotten through to him as they battled in the atmosphere and he was able to find a better way to ensure that the people of the Earth Sphere appreciated their peace.

He had made a valiant effort to start over at that point, determined to do things right this time. He would become a Preventer; defend the peace that he now genuinely believed in. He would accept the friendship offered by his comrades. He would become a human being, not the emotionally confused and unbalanced pawn of war he'd been before.

He'd even succeeded in those endeavors for a time, working alongside Sally on the force, staying in touch with the other pilots, relieved and pleased that even after all he'd done, they--especially Maxwell--still courted his friendship.

And then somehow he'd begun messing up again, shortly after calling on his friends to help retake the Sank Kingdom palace. He had offended Duo, to whom he was admittedly closest of the four, and subsequently fallen out of contact with the other former Gundam Pilots. Depression had begun to creep in on him and he'd begun slipping in his diligence on missions.

Then came the change in Preventers policy--"We don't the public to see us as another oppressive militant force; we're their servants, protectors, equals, friends." And with that change, Wufei had become a major PR problem for them. He found it difficult to adapt and even more difficult to care. He hadn't joined up to ride in parades and kiss babies and spread flowers and joy--that was the Vice Foreign Minister's job. He'd joined up to defend and protect the hard-won peace. 

But it hardly seemed worth it anymore.

So why was he still doing this even though he'd been shuffled from city to city, office to office until he ended up here, out of sight and out of mind, restricted from doing much of anything even though very little ever happened?

Where else was he going to go; what else was there for him to do?

Wufei sighed and shook his head, scowling at his drink as he catalogued all the screw-ups and blunders that had led him to this point. He hated places like this, hated bars, hated drinking; but lately he'd found that it was the only way he could relax anymore, could forget for just a few hours and find inner peace.

But tonight he just couldn't bring himself to drown his sorrows, pushing the drink away as he reflected on what was probably the biggest mistake of his life.

He had fallen in love once upon a time and failed to do anything about it.

He had let Duo Maxwell slide through his fingers, no more able to grasp and hold onto that beautiful boy than the waters of the ocean.

His feelings for Duo were the reason behind many of his other mistakes, as well. He'd returned home, not because his people were better suited to rebuilding his Gundam as he'd excused himself at the time; but because during their lunar incarceration, he had begun to fall for the lovable, obnoxious baka. Discovering that Maxwell was already spoken for had dashed his fragile, blossoming hopes; jealousy had followed in the wake of disappointment and he soon left the cheery optimistic couple to themselves.

And consequently led OZ home with him and got his colony destroyed.

Half of the reason he had later resisted joining forces with the others was because he did not want to see Duo again. But when the reunion had finally come about, he couldn't help hoping anew. Hilde was not around, after all; and Duo was so overtly friendly to him--making all manner of obvious effort to draw him into the group.

But just when he'd been cautiously beginning to open up, there came the Schbeiker girl again, heroically risking her life to bring them valuable tactical information.

And Maxwell had fallen all over himself to see that she was properly taken care of; Wufei had seen the look in those violet eyes as Duo watched her med-shuttle fly away and had shut down again. The subsequent depression that had descended upon him had only fueled his decision to throw his life on the hands of Treize's mobile suit.

And when that had failed, and the war had ended, and Duo continued trying to court his friendship, it only compounded his confusion and loneliness and depression and he ended up turning away from it all.

After the second war, when he had finally shaken off his uncertainties and his misery and vowed to become a better man, he had been terribly pleased to find that Duo was very forgiving and still as persistently friendly as ever. Most of their communication was written and electronic, as Wufei was on Earth and Duo in space; and Wufei had begun to feel comfortable in their friendship, resigned to the fact that they would never be anything more.

Until, that is, he saw Duo again at the Sank Kingdom incident. The American had still been heartbreakingly beautiful, so vibrant, so alive, so...perfect; Wufei had fallen in love with him all over again.

He had personally shuttled Duo back out to his L2 colony, determined to risk it all and tell the boy how he felt. But before he could gather up his courage and take the plunge, Duo had dropped some casual remark about going home to Hilde and shattered his hopes. He had managed to forget the German girl in her absence, his subconscious convincing him that they had split up and Duo could possibly be his for the courting. Clearly, he had been wrong.

Jealousy had exploded within him, surging up to drown his breaking heart, making him cold, making him hurtful, saying wickedly cruel things to the companion who had only ever been kind to him.

He hated himself, seeing the hurt that flashed across Duo's face before the boy could hide it; hated this ugly facet of his human weakness that told him he was better off this way.

He had neither seen nor spoken to Duo since.

He knew he had probably destroyed whatever slim chance may have existed between himself and Duo. It didn't really matter; he also knew he'd probably never see Duo again.

But still he loved the boy, knowing on some level that he probably always would.

In the scant few relationships he'd had in the intervening years, he'd been unable to keep from comparing his lovers to Duo, even if only to himself. And since no one could ever measure up to that standard, those relationships had all failed. He had even dated women once or twice, hoping to discourage such comparison; all his efforts had been to no avail and he had finally sworn off of the entire dating & mating ritual.

Sick of it all, he had vowed to himself that Duo *would* know his feelings if ever their paths should cross again. He no longer harbored hope of reciprocation, but the American deserved an explanation for his parting rudeness at the very least.

Wufei sighed, looking up at last from the bar in front of him and his half-melted drink. His gaze wandered aimlessly around the dim, smoky room. Gods, these people were pathetic. Always the same faces, every day, every week... What made their lives so miserable that they should spend all their time here?

~You are just as pathetic as they,~ he reminded himself sourly as he stared at the entrance. Another patron was coming in. ~Are you not here every night, among them? And the fact that *you* are miserable does not mean--~ 

His thought died mid-sentence, shocked into silence by what he'd just seen.

The young man who had come in the door--Wufei would have sworn there was a long brown braid swinging behind him. He shook his head, blinking, and looked again; but the newcomer had disappeared into the crowd at the far end of the bar.

~You are losing it, Chang,~ he told himself firmly. ~You did not just see Maxwell. He cannot be the only person in the world with such a hairstyle. You are seeing things, thinking too much, not sleeping enough...~ He shook his head again, reaching for his glass. Maybe he'd drink it after all, let it be just one more thing he did wrong. He shouldn't even be here in uniform like this, after all--maybe they'd finally fire him for it.

He really didn't care.

Someone slid into the empty seat next to him.

Wufei glanced over in irritation--he liked having his space, dammit--

\--And froze, mouth falling slightly open in shock.

Duo.

It was Duo Maxwell, appearing as though summoned by his thoughts, unmistakably Duo though somewhat taller and slightly more seasoned by time. His hair was still the same, that rich lovely chestnut brown, red and gold highlights hidden in this dim light, sunglasses perched haphazardly among the thick silky chunks of his bangs, braid hanging behind him and just a bit longer than Wufei remembered. He still had that baby face, only marginally leaner and currently twisted into an introspective frown. Same little upturned nose, same tempting cupid's bow of a mouth, same expressive lilac eyes...

He looked like some brooding demigod dropped from the heavens to dazzle the poor mortals below with his simple elegance.

Wufei could only stare as Duo sensed his scrutiny, grew quickly irritated with it, and turned those not-quite-friendly eyes to him.

"*What*?"

And that was his voice, not heard in so long, still capable of making Wufei feel a little too warm even with such a confrontational tone as that. He still couldn't speak as Duo's eyes widened, the annoyance in his face melting into shock and disbelief.

"'Fei?" Duo blinked and shook his head as if to clear his vision. His hand lifted, reaching slightly in Wufei's direction as though to touch him but dropping uselessly back to the counter instead. "My god, Wufei, it really *is* you." His brow crinkled slightly in genuine bewilderment. "What the *hell* are *you* doing in a *bar*?"

Wufei felt a smile bloom on his face, something that hadn't happened in a very long time. He couldn't help but laugh out loud, albeit quietly. Duo hadn't changed one bit. Although there was a time when this sort of reunion would have garnered him a merciless glomping from the other youth; but Wufei knew he had only himself to blame for pushing the American away.

"Four years, Maxwell; it has been four years, and that's all you have to say to me?" He shook his head, his smile still lingering. "Gods, it's good to see you."


	3. Chapter 3

Duo couldn't believe it. He simply could not believe it. He'd sat down, minding his own business; the guy next to him had started staring; he looked up to confront the jerk and it was Wufei.

He blinked, and stared; and it was still Wufei.

He was really here.

Shocked, Duo couldn't help asking the very first thing that came to mind--what the hell was 'Fei doing in a bar? It was odd, after all--it didn't fit with his memories of the other. Wufei was always so proper, dignified--when he wasn't flying off the handle in a mad fit of temper or outrage. Pubs and drinking just didn't enter the picture.

So he asked.

And Wufei laughed.

God, he was *still* stunningly gorgeous. And that laugh--it was a beautiful sound, one that Duo couldn't remember ever really hearing before. Everything he had ever felt for this boy came crashing back to the forefront in a dizzying rush.

It was such a sharp contrast to his memories of their last conversation that he dared to hope he'd misjudged Wufei's opinion of him. The other *had* just said it was good to see him, after all...

He flashed his signature smile. "Yeah, same to you. I just never imagined you were the drinking type. Although it doesn't look like you've touched that one yet." He nodded in the direction of Wufei's still full glass.

Wufei's lovely smile, which Duo had seen all too little of in the old days, faded abruptly. "Yes, well, I seem to have made something of a habit of it lately." Duo could hear the underlying bitterness in that statement.

That was odd. Duo remembered Wufei as a fighter, someone angry at the world and railing against all its unfairness and injustices. But now...now, with just that one sentence spoken, he sounded almost...defeated.

~What's happened in the last four years, 'Fei, to make you so unhappy?~ Duo wondered, choosing instead to ask, "So what've you been up to, huh?"

Wufei's mouth twisted into a mockery of his former smile and he shook his head, gesturing at Duo's nearly-empty glass.

"Let me buy you another and we can go over there," he said, cocking his head in the direction of a small table that had just been vacated and was a little more private than the crowded bar.

"Actually, I'm good with just the one," Duo said, lifting what was left of his drink. He was already feeling slightly buzzed, though how much was circumstance and how much was actually alcohol was really anybody's guess. But in the face of the miracle of finding Wufei again, that last thing he wanted to do was get drunk.

Wufei shrugged and stood, leaving his own drink still untouched on the counter. Duo stood as well; and Wufei abruptly realized how much taller the other had become. He himself had only grown another ten centimeters or so (1) before reaching what seemed to be his peak; Duo appeared to have gained fourteen or so beyond that. (2) It looked like he had finally grown into those lanky legs.

Wufei moved to the table and sat; Duo followed and took the seat across from him. "I hate my life, Maxwell," he announced with no preamble, somewhat surprised at himself for laying it out so bluntly. But Duo...Duo was still *Duo*; something about him put Wufei completely at ease, despite their last meeting--he was so easy to talk to, so easy to trust. And contrary to popular opinion, he *did* listen. And seeing the American again, when Wufei had just been dwelling on his loss...it was as though the years melted away and they were back in the heart of their developing friendship, back before he had so thoroughly fucked up.

Not to mention his unrequited love was resurfacing with a vengeance.

He shook his head. "I am tired of this place, tired of my job. Yet I have nothing better to do, so I continue in the same meaningless routine day after day."

"You were all gung ho on the Preventers last time I saw you," Duo said dryly. "Wasn't as great as you thought?"

"Times change, Maxwell. I do not fit the system anymore." He blinked and shook his head again, wanting to move on to more pleasant topics. "Enough of my complaints. What brings you to Phoenix?"

"Me? I'm just here for a couple days for the hell of it. I'm out to see the world, y'know? Do a bit of traveling before I get old."

"By yourself?" Wufei tried to quash the irrational hope that maybe Duo really *was* single this time.

"Yup. Just me, myself and I. All by my lonesome. I kinda thought it'd be fun, y'know, take a vacation,*waste* just a little more of my life." The American's tone acquired a strange bite on that last phrase.

"Who told you that you were wasting your life, Maxwell?" Wufei asked, perplexed at the notion that anything Duo could do would be considered a waste.

That violet gaze lifted and fixed squarely onto him. "You did, 'Fei," Duo answered. His tone was neutral, but he couldn't quite hided the accusation and hurt in his eyes. "Four years ago, when you took me home..."

Wufei winced. Yes, he *had* said something to that effect on that unfortunate shuttle trip; and while he'd done his best to forget the incident, the pain still looked terribly fresh in his friend's expression.

~Does it hurt him so much after four years yet?~ he wondered, cringing at the thought that his moment of childish weakness had haunted Duo so heavily all this time.

Well, he *had* vowed to make amends; this was the opportunity he'd thought never to have.

He took a deep breath, eyes solemn as they fixed on Duo's face. "I wish to apologize for my behavior the last time we met. My actions were reprehensible, and immature, and completely inexcusable."

Duo's eyebrows disappeared into his bangs. An apology--an *unsolicited* apology, even--from Wufei was nothing to be taken lightly. That little spot in his heart that had remained cold and hurt all this time began at last to thaw.

Wufei reached over hesitantly and touched his hand. "I am truly sorry, Duo, for the pain I know my words have caused you," he said softly, pulse quickening at just the simple feeling of Duo's skin beneath his fingertips. Almost annoyed, he tamped his libido back down where it belonged and bowed his head. "I only hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

Duo smiled warmly, a spark of happiness in the lilac eyes though his voice when he spoke was solemn and quiet. "Of course I forgive you, 'Fei; and thank you for the apology. I know it's never easy." He folded his arms and leaned slightly forward on them. "I'll admit to wondering if there was something wrong with you that day or if it was just me." The statement invited explanation.

Wufei's gaze dropped to the table. Here it was. He was not precisely eager to offer up his heart and have it crushed; but he had promised himself. And Duo deserved the truth. He looked back up and met those warm lilac eyes.

"I was disappointed that you had not chosen the same path as I had. And I was jealous."

Duo's face acquired an adorably quizzical look. "Jealous?"

"Yes, jealous."

"Of *what*?" The American was clearly mystified.

"Of you." Wufei steeled himself. "That you had a life to return to, somewhere you could belong that was completely unrelated to the war, some*one* to greet you there when you arrived, someone with whom you were in love..." Somehow what came out wasn't quite the whole truth. But it was awfully close.

Duo's bewildered frown deepened. "'In love'?"

Wufei's hands were carefully folded before him on the table; his grip tightened just a little more. "Yes. Hilde Schbeiker?" Was it possible he'd misjudged the nature of their relationship?

Understanding dawned in the violet eyes and Duo burst out laughing, a light airy sound that instantly warmed the other young man and sent an odd little shiver down his spine.

"*Hilde*?" You thought me 'n her...? Oh no, Wu, Hilde's the little sister I never had. She's a pain in the ass and a damn good friend; *she* had a huge crush on *me* once upon a time, but I was never in love with her." ~I was in love with *you*.~ That last sentence didn't quite make it out of his mouth; he was leaving here in a couple of days--there was no use in such a confession.

But he couldn't stop himself from thinking it.

Wufei blinked, and his perfect cheekbones acquired a slight pink tinge. "I see. Now I feel even more foolish." ~And all the misery I put myself through over her was completely unnecessary. I am *truly* an idiot.~

Duo laughed again and downed the last swallow of his beer. "It's alright, Wufei. You're only human; we all make mistakes."

Mistakes. There was that word again. "Perhaps; but I seem to have far surpassed the average man's quota." The pall of depression, momentarily lifted by Duo's unexpected presence, was settling back around his shoulders again. "Gods, I hate this place."

Duo wasn't sure if his old friend meant this bar or the city in general; deciding that the former would be easier to treat, he leaned forward. "Then let's get outta here, 'Fei. We're nowhere's near finished catchin' up; we can go to your place or somethin'. You live around here?"

The Chinese youth made a face. "I have claustrophobic quarters on site at the office. It keeps me close by and on call."

"That's gotta put a major cramp in your style."

"I have no life."

"Ouch." Duo felt a pang of sympathy. "If you'd rather, then, we can go back to the hotel. I got a big suite--living room and everything."

"For only yourself?"

"Yeah; half the fun of travelin' is doin' it in style."

"Very well. That would be far preferable to returning 'home.'" The way his upper lip twisted into a sneer as he said the word made it clear that the raven-haired ex-pilot considered his living quarters no such place. But then, he had nowhere else that would qualify as home, either.

Duo was saddened and somewhat unsettled by the changes he saw in his friend. The Wufei he remembered certainly hadn't been all that happy-go-lucky; but neither had he been so bitter, so...again, defeated. And so hopeless and hurt underneath...

This new 'Fei was only making Duo's resurfaced feelings all the stronger; he just wanted to gather the beautiful boy into his arms and cover him in kisses and assure him that everything would work out alright...

~Whoa there, Duo.~ He fought down the surge of arousal that followed in the wake of that thought. ~Let's not go there, shall we? You know you're still in love with him, and there's still no use in telling him. You won't be here long--let's just leave it at that.~

Duo blinked away his thoughts and hopped up from his seat. "Cool, then. My place it is." He stretched a kink out of his back. "I came on foot. How 'bout you?"

"I also walked." Wufei stood as well, envying the other's height again. "Where are you staying?"

"The Scottsdale Hilton."

Wufei's eyes widened. "And you *walked*? Good lord, Maxwell, that is at *least* ten miles from here! I'm amazed you do not have heatstroke!"

Duo flashed his old impudent grin. "Naah, Shinigami's made of stronger stuff than that! Although your weather does leave something to be desired," he amended. 

Wufei frowned. "Agreed. We will take my bike. It's at the office."

"Oh?" Duo perked up though his expression was wary. "You *do* mean bike as in motorcycle, right, not bicycle?"

Wufei flashed a brief, tiny smile. "Yes. Motorcycle. Come, let's go." He headed for the exit.

Duo fell into step behind him. "Cool. 'Cause I was *so* not looking forward to walking back in this heat." He grimaced as they passed through the door. "Ugh. How can you stand it, 'Fei? Ya gotta be dyin' in that uniform."

"It *is* somewhat uncomfortable," Wufei conceded, removing his jacket and slinging it over his shoulder.

Unconsciously, Duo found himself lagging slightly behind the other youth, admiring him under the light of the street lamps. His hair was longer than Duo remembered, the sleek black tail falling easily between his shoulder blades and casting back reflections of pink and blue and green from neon storefronts as they passed. The careless graceful arc of his jacket as it settled behind him, swinging easily from two of the boy's fingers, drew Duo's eye to the lines of his back, the way the thin white low-necked shirt clung to his muscular frame, outlining the breadth of his shoulders and the way his torso tapered down to his slender waist. Duo's gaze drifted lower, and he whistled silently, eyes widening appreciatively. Those loose white pants Wufei had always worn in the past did *not* do him justice, Duo decided. But the blue-green trousers of his uniform, now--they showed off the slim contours of his hips and the tight, shapely curve of his ass, barely managing to stretch over the bulky muscles of his thighs, confirming Duo's long-standing suspicions that his fellow ex-pilot did indeed have gorgeous legs to match the rest of his god-like body.

Distracted as he was, Duo nearly walked smack into a lamp post and decided that maybe he'd better pay attention to where he was going. He quickened his pace to match Wufei's and walked beside him in comfortable silence until they reached the Preventers office he'd visited a short time earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Should put Wufei at 166 cm, or just over 5'5"  
> (2) Should be a total growth of 24 cm, putting Duo at 180 cm, or just shy of 5'11"


	4. Chapter 4

Wufei led his companion around the main building to the Preventers garage and up to a large, sleek black bike. Duo's eyes widened in admiration.

"This is yours?" he marveled. "Nice taste, 'Fei."

"Thank you." Wufei donned his jacket again, having nowhere else to put it, and swung gracefully onto the bike. He tossed the lone helmet to Duo. "Put it on," he said shortly, and backed the motorcycle out of its parking space. Starting the engine, he jerked his head over his shoulder, indicating the rear seat. Duo climbed up behind him. "Hold on," Wufei commanded, barely audible above the solid purr of the engine; and then they were off.

Duo held on, fighting the urge to wrap himself around the other youth, warming to the feel of Wufei's body so close to his and feeling guilty for enjoying it as much as he did. But he couldn't help it, really. His feelings for his estranged Chinese friend had bubbled up stronger than ever, setting his blood to a gentle simmer and making him long once more for the chance to make things different between them.

At least the pain he'd lived with the past four years had faded. And who knew what might happen tonight...?

Naah. Best not even to dream about it. Besides, he was currently close enough that Wufei could easily notice if he became aroused. Probably not a real good idea. He concentrated instead on matching Wufei's movements as the boy veered confidently through the nighttime traffic, leaning into turns and balancing the bike.

All too quickly the ride was over; they reached the hotel, parked, and dismounted. And now Duo led his companion through the plush lobby and up to the fifth-floor and his roomy, comfortable suite. Keying the door open, he waved Wufei inside.

"Have a seat," he offered, flopping onto the short couch himself. Wufei removed his jacket and laid it over the sofa's arm as he sat on the other end in a rather more dignified manner.

"So," Duo said, not quite sure where to pick up.

"So." Wufei sat back, folding one leg comfortably beneath him. "How long have you been out 'seeing the world'?"

Duo shrugged. "Six, seven months, somethin' like that. It's been fun, y'know? Just kinda hoppin' from city to city, seein' all the major sites. I went to New York first, 'cause it seemed like as good a place to start as any. Went to Boston, went to Vermont, went to Connecticut...I may hafta go back sometime when it's summer. Saw a lotta snow...which was nice in a way..."

"It is summertime now," Wufei pointed out. "If I were you, I would have come *here* in the winter."

"Yeah, well...yeah. If I was doin' it over, so would I."

~But then you may not have run into me...~ Wufei's thought surged up unbidden; he had no way of knowing that Duo was thinking precisely the same thing as the other continued.

"I went to Montreal, and Detroit, and Chicago; and Jersey, and Philadelphia--Pittsburgh, too. I've been to Washington, and Graceland, and DisneyWorld, and Mardi Gras--I tell ya, 'Fei, Mardi Gras in New Orleans is one *hell* of a party..."

"So I hear." Wufei shifted slightly. "And you plan to continue this way for how long?" He sounded...almost envious.

Duo shrugged. "Long as it takes. 'Till I get tired of it. Which probably won't be for awhile. I'm enjoyin' myself, y'know?"

Wufei's smile was wistful. "It sounds delightful. Would that *I* could be so carefree." He shook his head and changed the subject. "What of the others? I allowed myself to fall out of contact long ago and have yet to find the courage to mend that error."

There was that bitterness back in his voice once more; Duo again felt a pang of sadness for his friend. "I dunno, lately," he answered. "I've been pretty much incommunicado since I left the colony. But before that? Whatcha wanna know?"

Wufei smiled again, this time with a touch of humor. "Have Winner and Barton gotten married yet?"

Duo grinned. "Nope. They actually split up." He kicked off his shoes, stretching lazily.

Wufei's eyes widened. "You *must* be joking," he said incredulously, which only made Duo's grin all the brighter. 

"Dead serious, 'Fei. They didn’t need each other so much after the wars, it turns out. They're closer than ever; they're just..." He shrugged. "Not a couple anymore. In fact, Trowa and Heero got together about a year ago. And last I heard Quatre had started seeing Abdul."

"I see." Wufei shook his head. "Unbelievable."

Duo nodded. "Uh huh. Relena...I don't know that she's dating anyone, 'cause her job keeps her so busy. And Zechs and Noin are still together...probably engaged by now. Or not--who knows with those two?"

"So they returned to the Preventers when terra-forming Mars was set back?"

"Yup. And Sally and Auda got married last year."

A faint, self-satisfied smile graced Wufei's features. "I *told* her his interest was more than simple friendship." He shifted position again, leaning forward ever so slightly. "And yet I cannot seem to find the happiness for myself that I see so easily in others."

"No luck in matters of the heart, eh, Wufei?" Duo's tone was sympathetic.

Wufei shook his head; the distinctly unhappy expression was back on his face. "None. I last had a brief affair with a co-worker in Honolulu; he turned out to be a most unpleasant individual. I put a stop to it; he took it badly and began sleeping with the boss. Shortly thereafter, I was 'mysteriously' demoted and transferred yet again. I have not attempted a relationship since."

Duo was floored. That was very nearly the *last* sort of thing he expected to hear from Wufei, of all people. "How long ago was this?" he asked, still processing the idea of Wufei with a jilted, vindictive boyfriend.

"Approximately twenty-five months."

"And that's how you ended up here?"

"No." Wufei made a face, and Duo did his best to ignore the fact that the boy looked awfully cute with his nose scrunched up like that. "From there I was sent to Singapore, then Beijing, then Canberra, then Rio de Janeiro, Nairobi, Athens, Dublin, Cairo, St Louis, Vancouver, Seattle, and *then* here."

Duo's eyes widened. "Damn, 'Fei, they sent you everywhere!"

Wufei laughed; and this time it was a brittle, bitter sound. "And *that* is only *after* Hawaii. I was in Tokyo and Hong Kong and Brussels and New York and Anchorage and Moscow and Sydney and New Delhi and half a dozen colonies before *that*."

"Why'd they shift you around so much?"

"I grew to be a thorn in their collective side, it seems. I failed to adapt to their 'friendly' image, to fit nicely into their new ideals."

"So they made that dumbass policy change and you got shafted."

"Yes." Wufei practically spat the word. "Though it is not as though it has all been undeserved. I've hardly been able to do anything right in years."

"What are you talking about?" Duo sounded almost indignant on his behalf.

That was a nice thought; Wufei dismissed it, not wanting to engage in fruitless acts of self-delusion. There was no reason to think that Duo really gave a damn what he thought of himself.

Except...except that Duo had *always* been the one to reach out to him, to try to draw him into whatever group there was, to...befriend him. Duo had always *cared*, freely and openly, about everyone; chances were that fact had not changed any more than the American himself. That thought was comforting, somehow, and encouraged Wufei to explain himself.

"I am a failure, Maxwell," he stated flatly. "I have made nothing but mistakes since I came out of boarding school."

"How can you say that, 'Fei?" Duo was leaning forward aggressively, everything about his tone, his stance challenging Wufei's opinion of himself. "You were--*are*--one of us. You helped end the war, for chrissakes! And god knows how much shit you've kept from happening as a Preventer!"

"Not much," Wufei snarled. "They let me do *nothing*! I live on site that they might keep a shorter leash on me--I am bound to screw up otherwise! And the war--I should never have been involved in the first place. But I let my wife die, and I had to do *something*! And yet everything I did--I was not fast enough, good enough, strong enough! If I had not tried to take Nataku's place, that war would have been over much sooner! And how can you say I helped to end it when I tried to restart it the year after??" He dropped his head into his hands, feeling utterly defeated. "I am useless, Maxwell. I always have been."

Duo's hands closed around his, tugging them gently away from his face as he looked up again, startled. Lilac eyes bored directly into his. "You are *not* useless, Wufei," Duo said firmly, his voice soft yet forceful.

"But I *am*," Wufei said stupidly, caught completely off-guard by the intensity of that stare. It affected him in ways he didn't want to think about, creating a soft ache somewhere deep in his chest that he couldn't dismiss. There was such caring in those amethyst depths, such raw sympathy and unbridled...love?

~Dear god, he cares for me,~ Wufei realized abruptly. ~I am more than his friend...how did I miss seeing this four years ago?~

He sat, numb in the face of this sudden revelation, Duo's hands tightening around his as the boy continued speaking, vehemently disputing the notion that Wufei could be a failure.

 

"No, 'Fei, you're *not*," Duo repeated, unable to sit listening idly as the one he loved more than anything viciously belittled himself. "War is a fucked up thing. No one blames you for that Dekim Barton crap--we all understand what you were trying to do. Maybe you *did* make mistakes--everyone did. Hell, Heero killed the good guys, Q-ball went off his rocker and blew up a resource satellite *and* a colony, and Zechs tried to blow up the *planet*, remember? But you did plenty of *good*, too. Sally told me how she met you--if you hadn't been there, 'Fei, she and everyone she was fighting with would have *died*. Me n' Quatre would be dead if you hadn't showed up that time in Singapore. I'da gone stir crazy and probably take my own life in that cell on the moon if you hadn't been in there with me. But you were just so calm, so level-headed and logical about the whole thing--I had to be rational, too, so you wouldn't think me some weak useless idiot of a Gundam pilot who'd freak out and lose it every time his life was threatened. *And* I couldn't've escaped in a partially-finished Deathscythe without you backing me up. You single-handedly disarmed seven colonies--that made post-war adaptations all the easier. And *you* were the one to bring Heero his buster rifle so he could blow up that last piece of Libra--*you're* responsible for saving the earth, really."

"You are too kind, Duo," Wufei replied softly, the warmth in his face having as much to do with the American's words as it did with the fact that Duo was still holding his hands. "Yuy saved the earth, not me. And do not forget--I destroyed my entire home colony."

"Did *you* push the button, or make the decision, or plant the explosives? No, 'Fei, you didn't. You can't blame yourself for other people's choices and the atrocities of war. It's *not* your fault."

"But had I not gone back--"

"Don't do this to yourself, 'Fei." There was raw pleading in Duo's face now, in his eyes, in his voice. His hands tightened around Wufei's. "Don't second guess; don't get caught up in what-ifs and if-onlys and should-haves and might-have-beens. You'll go absolutely crazy--believe me, I know. You're *not* a bad person and you deserve so much better than where you ended up." 

Wufei could feel his defenses crumbling under the earnestness in that beautiful face.

"Please, listen to me Wufei. I've never even heard you *laugh* before tonight, I don't think, and it kills me to realize that. I just...I don't want you to be miserable anymore. What can I do to make you happy again?"

~Touch me. Kiss me. Hold me. Take me for your own and promise that you will never leave...~ Wufei's thoughts were running away with him. "I was never 'happy', Maxwell," he answered aloud, realizing even as he said it that it wasn't entirely true.

He *had* been happy, once, when he had opened himself to Duo's friendship with no thought of jealousy, of envy, of regret, of anything but cherishing whatever sort of relationship he *could* have with the boy. For that short time, his life had been just a little bit brighter.

"Maybe not, but you weren't always so bitter, so buried by the weight of other people's shit. Underneath you're *still* the same proud, passionate, confident Wufei I fell in love with years ago, I know you are--you just have to find yourself aga--" Duo stopped short, abruptly realizing what he'd let slip in his fervor. His eyes widened, a distinct 'oh, *shit*' look washing over his face, and he let go rather suddenly of the other youth's hands.

Wufei could resist no longer.

"I lied," he said quietly, sharply honed reflexes allowing him to catch Duo's hands as they withdrew. ~He thinks I would not want him,~ he realized, aching with regret that he had ever given the beautiful American such an impression.

"What?" Duo was still doing a fair imitation of a deer caught in headlights as Wufei's gaze dropped to their joined hands.

"When I told you I was jealous...it was not entirely because I thought you had someone to love. It was primarily because...because that someone was not me."

Reality clattered to a halt around Duo; he could only stare, not daring to breathe, as Wufei continued his confession.

"I loved you, Duo, more than you could possibly imagine." His gaze lifted again, and Duo found himself reeling from the intensity of emotion roiling in those black eyes. "I still love you. Nothing could make me happier than seeing you again has done."

Duo didn't move, warmed to the quick by Wufei's words. "Really?" he breathed; and immediately winced at how lame that sounded. But Wufei only nodded, once, the truth plain to be read in his sincere expression.

"Really," he said softly, the tiniest hint of a genuine smile twisting at his mouth again.

Slowly, Duo reached out, fingertips tracing the curve of Wufei's face wonderingly, thumb brushing lightly over the fullness of his lips. "Oh, 'Fei," he sighed, unable to think of anything more intelligent to say, hand coming to rest against the side of Wufei's slender neck. Helplessly, almost uncertainly, he drew the other youth forward; encountering no resistance, he tilted his head and slowly leaned in himself until his mouth touched Wufei's.

And nothing had ever felt so perfect in either of their lives before.

Wufei's eyes fluttered shut as Duo's lips closed over his, the touch tentative yet decisive, leaving no doubt in the Chinese youth's mind that he'd correctly assessed the other's feelings for him. One hand curled hesitantly around the American's forearm; the other continued clasping Duo's tightly. Greatly daring, heart pounding in his chest, Wufei let his lips part further and flicked his tongue forward, inviting Duo to deepen the kiss; the braided youth tasted him almost shyly before gently breaking contact and drawing back.

Lilac and ebony eyes drifted open, fixing on each other in rapturous wonder; a long moment later, Duo blinked and spoke, barely more than a whisper.

"Why didn't I do that years ago?"

Wufei shook his head. "Why are you not doing it again?" It was out of his mouth before he even realized that he was thinking it.

"I don't know," Duo laughed softly; and scooted closer, pulling a blushing Wufei up against him, his head lowering once more.

The second kiss was even better, though neither of them could imagine how that was possible. Their mouths met again, more confident this time, warmer, bespeaking desires they had both thought forgotten long ago. Wufei positively melted into Duo's embrace, all woes temporarily dismissed as the chestnut-maned youth kissed him ardently, tenderly, passionately...protectively? Yes, he thought, that word would fit Duo's demeanor at this moment. He was only just beginning to realize that the depth of the other ex-pilot's feelings mirrored the depth of his own. His wandering fingers found the braid and grasped it tightly as Duo's hands moved gently to his face.

Duo's heart ached within him at the way Wufei so completely gave in to him, at how perfect the other youth felt pressed against him. ~Why didn't I *tell* him?~ he lamented, cradling the boy's face closer and kissing him harder. ~He could have been mine four years ago...~ One hand slid to the back of Wufei's neck, fingertips delving hesitantly into the ebony silk beneath the base of the ponytail; Wufei shivered in his arms and tugged lightly on his braid.

They lingered over the kiss, each reluctant to break from the other, the reality of this moment nearly too good to be true; it was Duo who finally pulled back, a tiny sigh escaping him at the look on Wufei's face. It was an expression that could only be described as 'I've-died-and-gone-to-heaven'--his lips moist, slightly parted, their lush fullness tempting Duo to taste them all over again; his eyes still closed, lashes a dark curl against the pale bronze of his cheek, drifting slowly open at last to stun Duo with the full force of the storm of emotions brewing within them.

The intensity in that gaze was incredibly humbling; Duo smiled shyly at his long-lost friend and touched the band that held back the raven sheen of Wufei's hair.

"May I?" he whispered, and Wufei barely nodded. The braided youth untied the thin band almost reverently; he'd never seen Wufei's hair down before. Once loosed, it fanned softly over his shoulders; Duo slid both hands into the feathery silk on either side of Wufei's head and lifted it gently outward and away so that it fell naturally around the Chinese boy's face, completely altering the stark appearance he usually kept up. He looked younger somehow, softer, somewhat vulnerable, almost fragile; Duo bit his lip at the sight and struggled to breathe properly past the ache in his chest.

"My god, you're beautiful," he said softly, fingering a thin strand of ebony silk as obsidian eyes fell from his.

Wufei shook his head ever-so-slightly. "Again, Duo, you are too kind," he murmured.

Duo's thumb and forefinger gently grasped his chin, directing his face upward until their gazes met again. "No, I'm not," he said quietly. "You *are* beautiful, 'Fei, and talented and honorable and *good*. You're *not* a failure or a fuck-up. And if I wasn't such a brainless, paranoid idiot I would have spoken up when I realized that I loved you. It's *my* fault we've been apart and unhappy these last four years--I shoulda just opened my stupid mouth--"

Wufei reached strong, slender fingers up and laid them to Duo's lips. He felt a sharp pang of sorrow at the other's words, wanting more than anything to comfort the boy. Was this how Duo felt, listening to him berate himself?

"Your guilt is misplaced, Duo," he said softly. "I, too, failed to say anything."

"Yeah, but you had reasons for not tellin' me. I was just plain *chicken*..." Duo trailed off, heart melting as Wufei shook his head gently and smiled briefly. 

"What was it you told me--no if-onlys; no might-have-beens?" Wufei leaned forward slightly, daring to move his hand from Duo's mouth to caress the boy's cheek. "The past is the past; it cannot be changed. We must look to do better in the future."

Lilac eyes watched him steadily as their owner smiled at him, a soft, sincere expression so different from the easy grin of lighter moments. 

"That's damn good advice, Wufei," Duo said, raising one eyebrow. "D'you ever listen to yourself when dispensing wisdom?"

Wufei glanced away with an acknowledging smile. He understood. He was telling Duo to do exactly what he himself had not--to leave his past behind him and move on to the future.

"Yes," he said softly, raising his eyes to meet Duo's again. The American was beautiful. And Wufei was as much in love as he had been four years ago. "I should heed my own advice and cease my self-recrimination. Very well." He leaned forward more; his breath when he spoke was light sigh across Duo's cheek. "Let us *both* leave our mistakes behind us--" He pushed Duo gently back and down onto the couch, crawling on top of him. "--and begin anew." His mouth descended firmly over Duo's, stealing the breath away from them both.

Duo's pulse quickened as the weight of Wufei's body settled against him, from both the unexpectedness of the action and a sudden acute awareness of his physical attraction to the boy. Not to mention the fact that Wufei was kissing him with an innate authority that he was not about to question. He surrendered more than willingly, one hand resting hesitantly at Wufei's waist, the other weaving beneath the silken fall of ebony hair to gently cradle the back of the other youth's head as their tongues met softly within the warm haven of Duo's mouth.

Duo sighed his contentment when Wufei drew back and began brushing light kisses across his cheek and down his neck, unconsciously guiding the Chinese youth with the hand still buried in the other's hair. He shivered almost imperceptibly as Wufei gently placed another butterfly kiss just below his ear; those lips were so soft, so warm, so tender...Duo felt as though he were slowly melting away into little wisps of happiness. If only they could stay this way forever...

Wufei shifted slightly atop him, settling them together with a greater sense of confidence, his fingers curling in the shoulder of Duo's shirt. "I love you, Duo," he whispered, mouth brushing delicately over the American's skin. Duo shivered at the words, the joy he'd felt upon hearing them the first time flooding through him again tenfold.

"And I love you, Chang Wufei," he breathed in return, gently guiding the other back up to kiss him again.

Slowly, so slowly, the heat of desire began to build softly between them, encouraging further exploration of one another and inciting Wufei to a careful boldness he would not have thought proper in cooler moments. There was no guarantee that Duo actually wished to bed him so suddenly, after all; yet here he was, kissing the American with an ever-increasing sense of abandon, hands straying up beneath the other's shirt, enticed to continue by the warmth of the creamy alabaster skin he found there and the shivers that ran through Duo's body as he did so.

After a moment Duo hesitantly began reciprocating the gesture, perfectly willing to cautiously follow Wufei's lead, well aware that abandoning himself to his own growing desires would land them in the bedroom and needing to certain that Wufei wished to go so far as well. He was becoming terribly hard within the denim of his shorts; he did his best to keep Wufei from discovering that fact, not wishing to pressure the other boy in any way.

His gentle exploration of Wufei's spine was interrupted a moment later as the Chinese youth drew back and peeled off his uniform shirt abruptly, dropping it behind him with his discarded jacket and falling back to Duo once more, his unbound hair sweeping down to shroud both their faces in a sweet, faint swirl of scent as their mouths met again.

The urgency in Wufei's kiss sent waves of awareness rippling through Duo's body; the smooth warmth of Wufei's bared skin and the strength beneath it only served to stoke the soft heat of his mounting desire. Those slender, graceful hands moved lightly over his shoulders, gentle, affectionate; it was somehow more arousing than if Wufei had been desperately tearing his clothes off in a fit of uncontrollable passion. The sweet, hesitant slowness of the whole situation was building a much stronger fire, a far greater intensity than any quicker pace could have hoped to achieve. Duo shifted slightly beneath the Chinese youth, wrapping one arm snugly about the slender waist while continuing to caress that sculpted bronze back with his other hand. He truly couldn't bring himself to care if they ended up going no further, if they continued this way for the rest of the night. It was simply heavenly.

And then Wufei began to move.

It was subtle at first, gentle, subconscious; Duo hardly noticed through the pleasant haze in which their shared kisses had him floating. Slowly, though, the sweet ache in his groin made itself known and he registered the pressure of Wufei's body against his erection and shivered. Wufei moved again, hips grinding softly against Duo's; and with that, the American realized that he could feel the hard length of Wufei's penis straining beneath the fabric of those uniform pants. He pushed back reflexively, urgent need waking within him; and Wufei's hands tightened on his shoulders, kiss becoming suddenly more insistent. Duo did his best to hold himself in check as Wufei's mouth overpowered his and Wufei's hips moved in soft rhythmic pulses against his own; it was no use. Desire curled and flared low in his belly and at last he gave up the fight, his voice escaping him as a soft moan into Wufei's ardent mouth as the Chinese youth began carefully unbuttoning his shirt.

Wufei broke the kiss at last, all but undone by the gentle upward surging of Duo's hips into his. He gazed down at the young man beneath him, a mix of humility and adoration coursing through him as Duo's eyes opened. There was nothing held back in that beautiful face; there were no more walls, no more masks. Duo gazed up at him in return, all defenses down; and Wufei felt as though he were looking straight into the other's soul. Lying above Duo like this as the American reached up to gently run slender, pale fingers through his hair, Wufei *knew*, beyond the shadow of any doubt, that Duo loved him as much as he loved Duo. The knowledge was humbling and exhilarating all at the same time, overwhelming; it was nearly enough to make a man cry. 

Wufei traced reverent fingertips over Duo's cheek, down along his throat, underneath the now-open shirt, moving it gently aside, trembling at the way Duo arched softly into his touch, those lilac eyes closing briefly. He caressed Duo's skin again, feather-light, hesitating to move further though he ached to do so.

"Wufei," Duo breathed; and there was a tremulous note in his voice that bespoke the same intensity of emotion coursing through them both. He was beautiful...so beautiful...

Helpless to resist, Wufei gently claimed the American's mouth once more, his kiss heartfelt and hungry, drawing the softest of whimpers from the taller youth as it lasted longer and longer. The touch of bare skin to bare skin raced through him like fire; and Wufei could not deny that he needed this boy, needed him heart and soul, now and forever...he broke the kiss softly, one hand gently pushing unruly bangs away from his paramour's face.

"*'Fei*," Duo breathed fervently, just shy of a soft moan, the old nickname become an ardent endearment. "Oh, Wufei..." His hand was curled behind Wufei's neck, keeping the other pulled close to him. "I love you," he whispered, raising his head so that his mouth brushed over one bronze-tinted cheekbone as he spoke. "God, I *love* you..."

Wufei closed his eyes, thrilling to the sound of those words from Duo's lips.

He had never thought such overwhelming happiness, such *peace*, could be his.

"I need you, Duo," he whispered, shivering as the other slid a hand over his bare back again. "I have always needed you, from the very beginning..." He paused, drowning in the violet eyes that gazed up at him with such cherishing adoration, and continued in a reverent near-whisper as his fingertips caressed an ivory cheek. "Would you permit me the unparalleled honor of making you mine?"

Duo's heart surged within him at the other's gentle request; he moved to brush feather-light lips up the curve of Wufei's delicate, swan-like neck, nipping softly, lost in the scent of the boy. "I need you too, 'Fei...it means so much just to know that you want me..."

"More than anything," Wufei whispered fervently, dark eyes closing in rapture as Duo shifted slightly beneath him.

The American's mouth moved gently to his ear, sighing the words that he'd been aching to hear for years.

"Then make love to me, Wufei--please..."


	5. Chapter 5

Duo woke unusually early the next morning, gradually becoming aware that something was keeping him much warmer than usual. Opening his eyes at last, he found himself held in the loose embrace of a still-sleeping Wufei; and a warm smile drifted across his features. He blinked drowsily at the pre-dawn light filtering through the gauzy curtains; they had forgotten to close the heavy drapes last night, it seemed. Oh well. There had been more important matters occupying both their minds. 

He pushed himself up on one elbow carefully so as not to disturb his lover and looked down at Wufei's beautiful face, peaceful at last while he slept.

Every detail about last night stood out sharp in Duo's mind--the tender thrill of making out on the couch, of being carried into the bedroom and lovingly undressed; the breathless, aching anticipation as Wufei laid him reverently back on the bed; the indescribable perfection of skin against skin and flesh within flesh as Wufei took him; the languid bliss of leaning up to kiss away the tears of pure rapture that fell from Wufei's eyes as they moved together...

Had he imagined that? No, there were faint tearstains lingering still on Wufei's cheeks; and he *knew* he hadn't imagined the unbearable ecstasy that overtook him as they both reached climax long moments later...

He trailed light fingertips over Wufei's perfect face and ran them gently through the boy's tousled ebony hair; Wufei sighed in his sleep and shifted closer against Duo, arm sliding just a little further around the American's slender waist.

"Did it mean so much to you, Love?" Duo asked softly, eyes still fixed on the leftover traces of tears that showed faintly against the creamy caramel skin. Wufei had actually wept as they made love--Duo was overwhelmed. It had been indescribably beautiful, yes; and glorious and perfect and unimaginably *right*; and clearly Wufei had felt just as much as he had--perhaps even more, if that was possible.

~My treasure.~ Duo smiled tenderly, fingers absently toying with an errant strand of his lover's hair. ~You are everything to me; I would do anything to make you happy. I don't want to lose you again...~ Unable to help himself, he leaned down and softly kissed his sleeping beauty on those full, luscious lips.

Wufei stirred as Duo drew back, coming gradually awake. Duo watched as wide ebony eyes blinked hazily open and slowly fixed onto him. A soft, sweet smile spread slowly over his lover's sleepy face, and Duo found himself melting again at the sight of it. Only Wufei could ever make him feel this way. He matched the smile with one of his own and laid another kiss to Wufei's willing mouth.

"Good morning, Love," he whispered,(1) still lightly stroking that raven-dark silk that masqueraded as Wufei's hair.

"I feared I had merely dreamt you," Wufei replied softly, reaching up to touch the face of the young man leaning over him. "Never have I been more delighted at being proven wrong." He drew the American gently down to him, resting Duo's head against his chest.

Duo would have been perfectly happy to lie there like that all day, drowsing to the slow, steady rhythm of Wufei's heart, cocooned in the warmth of his lover's embrace; he knew, though, that such contentment could not last.

Sure enough, Wufei tensed and cursed several long moments later.

"What time is it, Duo?"

"'Bout five-thirty," he answered sleepily. "What's wrong, 'Fei?"

"I have to go to work," Wufei muttered, sounding very put out.

Disappointment flooded through Duo. "When?" He wasn't even going to suggest taking the day off--he knew it would be useless. Wufei was a very honor-bound and responsible individual whose sense of duty would not let him take an unscheduled personal holiday for so frivolous a circumstance as staying home to cuddle with his new lover.

"I am scheduled on at six-thirty," Wufei answered, reluctantly disentangling himself from Duo and sitting up. Duo's eyes followed automatically, admiring the way the sheet fell loosely down to his lover's hips, barely covering his lap. He watched as Wufei swung short, muscular legs over the side of the bed and stood, stretching briefly. He couldn't help the slow heat that spread through him as Wufei gathered his pants and began pulling them on; the boy's petite build and well-maintained musculature made for an irresistibly alluring body. Particularly when seen in the nude.

Duo slid out of bed himself and followed Wufei to the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe with his arms loosely folded across his chest. "D'ya hafta go *now*?" he asked wistfully as Wufei tied his hair back somewhat haphazardly and washed his face.

"Yes, unfortunately," the Chinese youth answered, turning from the sink and toweling dry. "I must shower and change before I report..." His voice died and his expression softened as his eyes fell on Duo's naked form in the doorway.

"You're up early this morning," he said quietly, gaze flickering pointedly down the American's body to pause briefly at his groin before moving back up to his face.

Duo had the decency to blush just the tiniest bit. "Yeah, well, I can't help it--you're too damn sexy, y'know."

Wufei came forward and draped his bare arms around the taller boy's neck, looking up into warm violet eyes. "So this is all for me?" He pressed his hips gently against Duo's rather evident erection and smiled innocently.

Duo's breath caught and his arms found their way around Wufei's waist, pulling the youth closer and holding him tightly. "D'you see anyone else here?"

"No," Wufei breathed, the word lost as Duo's mouth covered his. He gave himself over willingly to that kiss, eyes falling shut, savoring the warmth of the bare body against him and the unique flavor of Duo; it was all he could do to make himself pull away at last.

"I have to go," he murmured, his reluctance quite evident. Much as he hated his job, it was still his duty to report as expected. 

Duo didn't release him, kissing a light trail down his neck instead. "Come back tonight?" he requested softly, breath warm against Wufei's skin.

The Chinese youth shivered slightly and nodded. "Yes," he answered; and Duo let go of him with one last lingering touch. "The moment I am off duty."

"Good." Duo flashed one of his old signature mischievous grins. "'Cause otherwise I wouldn'ta let you leave."

Wufei retrieved his shirt, jacket and shoes from the living room, shrugging into them as Duo trailed out after him. Fully dressed though admittedly rumpled, he paused to gaze for another moment at the young man he'd thought never to see again, memorizing everything about him just in case this did turn out to be some elaborate fantasy--the way the morning light played along his pale, naked skin and gleamed off of his disheveled braid, the tender smile that curved his mouth, the unmistakable love and want in those violet eyes...he was too beautiful for words. Wufei stepped up close to the boy again, allowing for one last kiss goodbye; then made himself turn around and walk out the door.

It was one of the most difficult things he'd ever done.

Duo watched him go, his smile fading, and then sighed heavily, running a hand through his tousled bangs.

"Stay up and take a shower or go back to bed?" he muttered, silently debating the merits of each option. "Aw, hell, I'm awake--may as well stay up."

He stayed in the shower for a long while, soaking in the soothing sensation of warm water cascading over his skin, leisurely washing the long masses of chestnut locks. When he finished at last, he took his time over brushing and drying his hair before rebraiding it. Even after all these years, it was still a soothing ritual. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror, twisting the end of the braid between his fingers. Someday it might be too long, he mused. It might become more nuisance than it was worth. Maybe someday he would actually cut it, trim it just a little to a more manageable length...

He snorted. Yeah. Right. The day he let *anyone* near his hair with any sort of bladed implement and the intention to use it would be the day Heero traded his ever-present laptop for a policeman's uniform and danced through the halls of his office singing 'YMCA'.

Duo dropped his braid and flashed a wicked grin at the mirror. "Damn, you look good," he told himself cheekily, then turned away. He pulled a set of clean clothes from his duffel, letting the towel at his waist fall to the floor as he dressed.

He only had the one bag, seeing no reason to pack heavily on his travels. He had money enough for anything not provided by the hotels he stayed at, thanks to Heero--the King of all Computer Geeks had hacked into OZ's bank accounts before the war ended, setting up five separate untraceable accounts and funneling away quite enough to sustain all the ex-Gundam pilots comfortably through their adaptation into post-war society. Duo had hardly touched his yet, given that he'd been co-running a fairly profitable salvage business most of that time. And now he had the generous sum Hilde had given him in return for full ownership of that business, as well. So he carried very little besides his clothes with him, having no need of much else. In fact, Hilde had been to one to suggest that he pack the sexual necessities. Duo had protested that he wasn't a sex-crazed nympho bent on banging some one-night conquest at every stop on his journey; Hilde had countered that one never knew what might happen and there was nothing wrong with being prepared. In the end, Duo had done as she suggested, still miffed and sure that she was saying 'You need to get laid' without actually *saying* it; but after last night, he was glad she'd insisted.

Last night. Duo sighed blissfully as memories replayed themselves. Never had he felt more complete than he had with Wufei in his arms, inside of him, kissing him, loving him. His feelings, his *need* for the boy ran deeper than he'd ever imagined; Duo didn't even want to consider going back to living without him.

Besides which, Wufei needed...*something*. The lot he'd ended up in was such a far cry from what he deserved--Duo couldn't help the romanticized, fairy-tale image of himself as the white knight come to rescue Wufei from the dungeon life had cast him into. And silly as the notion may have been, it appealed to Duo on a deep-rooted level. 

He *wanted* to rescue Wufei; wanted Wufei to be happy, wanted to be the one to make the boy happy. It was all he had ever wanted, really.

He was going to have to find a way to convince Wufei to come with him when he left. It certainly wouldn't be easy; Wufei was *not* the type to just up and walk away from his job no matter how much he hated it.

But neither was Duo ever one to back down from a challenge.

And the prize in this case was worth any effort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) No, Virginia, there's no such thing as morning breath in the wonderful world of fanfic land...


End file.
